Fall To Pieces:Broken #2

By: Chloe Walsh



I woke from my most disturbing nightmare yet, slick with sweat to a pitch black room. The memories of lying on the bathroom floor bleeding, the knowledge of what I’d lost from my body invaded my thoughts.

I gasped for air and felt around my nightstand until my fingers found the switch for the lamp.

Flicking on the light, my mind reverted to my nightmare once again and I automatically grasped at my stomach.

I was fine. I needed to relax.

But I couldn’t go back to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I remembered the blood. I thought of the baby I would never hold in my arms.

I saw the shattered look in those steel blue eyes I had become so accustomed to looking at. Kyle…

I was lost.

I felt as if I’d been cut apart and shredded. I doubted I could put myself back together again.

I was heartbroken, I was grieving and I was excited all rolled into a complicated flurry of emotions, swarming my mind, piercing my soul.

I wasn’t sure if I should be happy. I didn’t know if I did feel it. And then I felt guilty for not feeling happy.

I was so confused.

Grabbing the cell phone from my nightstand, I checked the time.

Six thirty am. It was officially Christmas Day.

This year would top the list of worst Christmases. I would be spending my nineteenth Christmas in a hospital, pregnant and alone.

Cam had left her phone with me before leaving the hospital last night, with strict orders to call Derek’s phone if I needed anything. I wouldn’t call them though. They had done more than enough. I was alone in this now. It was the way it had to be.


I froze.

That word. That one torturous endearment had my heart catapulting around in my chest and my head swinging in the direction of the door of my hospital room.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered.

Kyle closed the door behind him and walked slowly toward me.

I couldn’t help but stare at him.

I looked at him differently now, not just because he had ripped my heart out of my chest, but because part of him was growing inside of me.

“I heard you crying from outside the door. I was worried, baby.”

He pulled a plastic chair close to my bed and sat down. “How are you feeling?” He sounded nervous.

His eyes roamed from my eyes to my stomach. I pulled the blankets around myself self-consciously.

“Confused,” I replied.

Confusion was my most potent emotion, especially now, with him here.

Kyle shuddered and bowed his head for a moment. “Yeah, I can understand why. Are you feeling okay, physically? Are you sore?”

I didn’t think I’d ever feel ‘okay’ again.

I nodded and peered up at him.

He looked tired, no he looked shattered. I guessed he mirrored how I felt.

His blue eyes were bloodshot, from lack of sleep or crying; I couldn’t be sure which.

The pale blue hoodie he wore was creased, his jaw dusted with a light layer of stubble, which was strange because Kyle always kept himself clean shaven.

His faded jeans were the same he had on the night of the party. I knew because I’d watched him slip them on, moments before he left me.

“Why are you here?” I asked quietly. “I told you to go.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “I did leave, but I couldn’t stay away. I’ve been outside your door all night, baby. I can explain everything. If you just give me a chance, it’s not what you think.”

I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to hear his explanation. I knew what he would say.

He would try and worm his way out of what he’d done again. There wasn’t a damn thing he could say to me this time, that would make it okay.

Nothing could fix this.

Kyle had left me to be with Rachel. And I really didn’t know why I was so surprised. God knows, I’d had enough warnings.

Cam, Mike, hell, even Rachel herself, had warned me not to get involved with Kyle Carter. I should have listened. If I had, I wouldn’t be lying here.

It hurt to think of Kyle in the same city as his evil ex-girlfriend, let alone together, doing god knows what, while I was miscarrying one of our babies on his bathroom floor.

Kyle took my silence as a means to speak. “I need to tell you about what happened two years ago with Rachel. You need to know all of the facts so we can move forward.”

I flinched at the sound of her name on his tongue.

“I don’t want to hear this, Kyle…”

“You will hear this; you need to know the truth, all of it.”

The truth couldn’t help me now. I was too broken. I was being torn apart and about to fall to pieces.

Kyle straightened in his seat.

Taking a deep breath, he spoke. “I was seeing Rachel in my sophomore year at college. It was nothing serious, just a couple of dates. We’d only had...”

His voice trailed off and he sighed before continuing in a gruff tone. “Been intimate once, I had no plans to pursue anything. I was barely twenty and enjoyed the life I had without complicating things.”

I watched his face as he spoke. It was obvious he was trying to give me a cleaner version of events.

“When my grandfather died, I stayed at his house in Denver, while his attorneys organized legal matters. I hadn’t seen Rachel since school had broken up for the holidays, and I didn’t care. She wasn’t a priority to me, just another girl.

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